


Make it red

by NoSanaNoLife



Category: IZONE (Band), Produce 48 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-01-06 02:23:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18379004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoSanaNoLife/pseuds/NoSanaNoLife
Summary: Jo Yuri came to Produce 48 determined to debut. But meeting Choi Yena forces a change in her plans and her heart.





	1. Chapter 1

When Jo Yuri decided to join Produce 48, she decided that she was debuting with this group. No matter what.

Idol School wasn’t a bad time necessarily. Yuri looked back on it and was thankful for the experience. She could tell what she was lacking and could apply it to this new survival show. In the end, she thinks she was too relaxed. In the first few episodes, Yuri managed to place in the top nine immediately. But she couldn’t maintain her good start and quickly dropped.

It was extraordinarily humbling and depressing. She cried for days. Opportunity had swung by, and Yuri’s preparation and drive had failed her. There was something incredibly distressing about not making it through a survival show. She thought that debuting in Kpop was a guarantee as long as she worked hard and stuck with it. But shows like Produce and Idol School revealed to her that her debut was truly out of her hands.

She knew luck was needed to be successful as an idol. She now knows that a little luck is needed just to get her foot in the door.

So when Produce 48 came around, Yuri took it incredibly seriously. She wasn’t here to make friends. She would practice diligently, sleep as much as possible, and move strategically. Why concern herself with climbing the top of the ranking? She just needed to debut, and then work upwards from there.

And then she met Choi Yena.

Yuri hadn’t given the girl much thought initially. She saw her standout amongst the Yuehua trainees, and her rank of A was certainly impressive. Still, she was just another trainee, and Yuri herself had managed to get a grade of A with her first audition as well. Choi Yena was just another competitor.

She met Yena randomly during some trainee event. Yuri had no idea who this duck-faced girl was, but she tried to ignore her and focus on getting her mindset right. But it seemed like said girl knew who Yuri was.

“Ohh, daebak! You’re Yuri from Idol School!” Yena said loudly. Yuri cringed but politely nodded. “Wow I didn’t know it was possible to do two survival shows!”

Silence. Anyone who was eavesdropping on their conversation had quickly decided to stay away.

Yuri couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or angry. She felt her face heat up and she clenched her fists, trying not to burst.

Yena seemed to realize quickly what she had done, and was scrambling together an apology.

“Oh my god, wait, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say that out loud!” Yena’s mouth was wide open and she was rapidly shaking her hands.

“Hmph, don’t you think that was a bit callous,” Yuri retorted. She turned slightly away and gave Yena the side-eye.

Yena put her hands together in a praying position. “I really didn’t mean it! I was just really excited and surprised to see you! I think you’re younger than me, but you already have a lot of experience, right? You’re gonna do super well, I can tell!”

Yuri was still a bit wary, and pouted. “I guess you’re forgiven.” Yuri started to turn away, but then Yena came even closer and put her hands on Yuri’s shoulders.

“I’m really really really really really really really…” Yena starts rapidly repeating the word “really” with what looked like fire in her eyes. It was honestly starting to frighten Yuri.

“Aish okay okay, I really forgive you! Now calm down!” Yuri managed to pry Yena’s arms off of her. The older girl just gave her a bright smile.

“Ah thank God! Last thing I need is to get in trouble on my first day! Say, wanna be friends?”

Yena’s question was asked with no hesitation and no nervousness. Yuri felt her jaw fall slightly open. How was this girl so relaxed? Did she not understand that they were competing against one another to debut? To achieve their respective dreams?

“Yah, aren’t you a little too relaxed unnie?” Yuri asked incredulously.

Yena simply waves her hand in a dismissive manner. “Of course, but that’s why I’m looking for friends. Nothing soothes the nerves like good friends. So what do you say Jo Yuri? Friends?” She stuck a hand forward and smiled confidently at Yuri.

The girl in question stared at the hand disbelievingly. People were friendly in Idol School, and Yuri had befriended a number of them as well. But this girl, Yena, was something else. Still, making a friend wouldn’t change any of her plans significantly. And besides, Yena got an A during the evaluation too. This was a friendship worth investing in.

“Very well Choi Yena,” Yuri said with mock haughtiness. Yena’s smile got wider, crinkling her eyes. “Let’s be friends. I’m sure we can both get something out of this relationship.”

“Wow,” Yena replied, easily accepting Yuri’s character. “This must be what a veteran is truly like. The honor is all mine Yuri-ah! I’ll be in your care.”

And for the first time since Idol School, she genuinely smiled.  

…

Yena and her clicked in a weird way.

At first, Yuri considered herself to be using her friendship with Yena to gain support from the viewers. They both were pretty goofy girls who could bolster their respective popularities by engaging in fan service. Yena was comfortable with almost anything, and Yuri got to leverage her younger age and freshness to appeal to the audience.

But along the way, Yuri started forgetting that she was “acting.” Playing with Yena was just so natural and so much fun. Even when the cameras were off, Yena was ready to do something funny and banter. They would broadcast some of their silly shenanigans at night, but once curfew hit and all the girls were sleeping, the two kept cuddling in bed, exchanging trainee stories.

Part of her felt guilty. Isn’t she having too much fun? She needs to focus on her singing. Improve her dancing. Maintain her image. Yena was taking up far more real estate in her head than she had anticipated. How was this girl so laidback? Didn’t she realize what was at stake?

Yena was an anomaly at times. She seemed very straightforward and simple: a true “Happy Virus,” the woman was always making friends, keeping up the energy, and ready to talk. At the same time, she was really efficient at practice. Her voice and dance talents were nothing to scoff at, and while she was the best at neither, Yena was clearly confident in her abilities and had the work ethic to push them further.

One day, Yuri brought up her honest inquiries to Yena during one of their secluded moments. Though Yuri had been careful to control her interactions with the rest of the trainees, she found herself unable to hide any of her fears from Yena.

“Hey unnie,” Yuri starts out cautiously. “Can I ask you a serious question?”

“Yah Yuri-ah, do you mean you’ve been joking with me all this time?” Yena teases. But when Yuri’s expression remains stoic, Yena drops her smile and nods more seriously.

Yuri takes a deep breath. “How are you so confident? I mean, you’re amazing unnie. But you’re so fearless in every evaluation. So energetic whenever the camera appears. Where did this come from?” Yuri didn’t voice her own self-esteem issues. She didn’t mention how worn down she was feeling after weeks of almost constant observation.

But Yena, as if reading Yuri’s mind, simply pulled the younger girl into a comforting hug. “Ah it’s a bit embarrassing. But it’s cause of you Yuri.”

Yuri pulled away with a shocked face. “Me?”

“Mhm,” Yena affirms. “To see you here, still going after Idol School, was really inspiring. You, Kaeun, and the others are kind of proof that this experience isn’t the end all be all. I’m feeling a lot of pressure, and I’m sure you’re feeling even more. But there’s always going to be another chance down the road. I just have to stay persistent, just like you.”

Yuri was dumbfounded. Her? Inspiring? This was something she thought only happened to actual idols who debuted. Yet, here was Yena, admitting that she had been encouraged just from meeting Yuri.

So the younger girl only shyly murmured her thanks. Yena chuckled and pulled Yuri in for another hug. “Be a little more confident Yuri-ah. You’re pretty amazing too.”

Yuri nodded and finally smiled. Yena returned the smile, and gestured for Yuri to go back to her own bed to sleep. But the younger started pouting and insisting on sleeping together.

“Aish, I really can’t say no to that face!” Yena exclaims softly, mockingly throwing her hands in the air. The two make themselves comfortable on Yena’s bed, and Yena knocks out immediately while Yuri takes a few more minutes to reflect. _How crazy_ , Yuri thought. This girl, who started out by offending her during their first meeting, had so easily wormed her way into Yuri’s heart. And to be able to soothe it so easily… _What a reliable unnie._

Gradually the walls Yuri had built around herself fell and the strategy she had for the show changed. It wasn’t just about debuting anymore. Her new goal had expanded to include Choi Yena.

…

F. Yuri was reevaluated and received a F.

 _Ah_ , Yuri thought, _it’s happening again_. She was sitting in a random bathroom stall on the sixth floor of the building. Cameras were everywhere, so all the girls had staked out all the spots they could hide. They needed safe spaces where they could let loose and not be afraid of showing something shameful to the nation’s producers.

Fortunately, Yuri had managed to claim this bathroom so that she could cry in private. The logical side of her mind had made an argument for crying in front of the camera to get sympathy points. But every other part of her screamed in frustration and shame. The fall was just…so much. To go from A to F? Who bombs that hard?

 _Why can’t I keep up? Why do I keep throwing away opportunities?_ The doubts were haunting her thoughts and Yuri was doing all she could just to stay upright and not collapse onto the bathroom floor. _It’s not gonna get any easier Yuri! If you can’t do this, what makes you think you’re ready to be an idol?_

She let out a small sob and roughly pulled at her hair. Yuri desperately thought of some way to atone for her mistake. To choke at two consecutive programs was so incredibly shameful in her eyes. She thought of all the other trainees who she had been chosen over to participate. How dare she take away a chance from them only to fail miserably.

Yuri was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn’t hear the bathroom door open up. While she was furiously biting her lip and pulling at her hair, the stall door opened up. Scared, Yuri looked up and locked eyes with Yena.

The older girl remained expressionless, but took a seat next to Yuri. Before Yuri could protest, Yena gently removed Yuri’s hands from her hair, and grasped them in Yena’s. Yuri struggled a little bit to remove her hands. Of all the people she had wanted to hide this shameful side of herself from, it was Yena.

But Yena refused to let go. “Yuri-ah,” Yena whispered. “I’m…not really good at this stuff. Honestly, I can’t think of anything right now to make you feel better. As your unnie, I’m a little ashamed about that.”

Yuri shook her head and a few more tears started falling. Now she was making Yena feel bad. _Stupid, useless Yuri!_

“But let me just be here for you right now. Don’t give up here Yuri. You’re too talented and beautiful and strong not to debut. I promise, you’ll make it if you don’t give up now.”

Yena pulled Yuri into a hug. Yuri resisted and tried to get out, but Yena merely held her more firmly, and Yuri’s struggles gradually died down. When it was clear that she wasn’t getting out, she surrendered and loudly sobbed into Yena’s shoulder as the older held her and rubbed circles into the small of her back.

It wasn’t much, but it was all Yena could offer.

The next day, she was practicing for an upcoming performance when Chaeyeon asked for a moment. Yuri was surprised but, eager to see if Chaeyeon had any advice regarding dancing, followed her to a secluded hallway.

Yuri was instead shocked that Chaeyeon had come to talk about Idol School. “Why do you ask?” Yuri questioned, feeling a bit shy and sensitive about her time there.

“Ah, I just thought it’d be nice to have someone to talk to about…not making it on these kinds of shows,” Chaeyeon awkwardly says. “You know, like a support group kind of thing. I still think about being eliminated from Sixteen. But I’m trying to not let it keep me down! I want to help you do the same.”

The honest omission is so unlike the talented and invincible Chaeyeon that Yuri had first seen at auditions. And it emboldened her to talk about her own struggles. The two ended up finding a lot of common ground and comfort from their conversation. Yuri thought about how much harder it was for Chaeyeon to watch Twice become the nation’s girl group after not making the cut. Chaeyeon admitted her envy at times, but expressed the same determination that Yuri had felt when Produce 48 started.

Yuri could clearly see how badly Chaeyeon wanted to redeem her earlier failures and make up for it. The older girl was burning with desire and drive. But it was driven in part by shame and regret. It was evident since Yuri had the same motivations.

Eventually, after talking for a while, the two had to return to practice before the trainers got mad. As they wrapped up their conversation, Yuri felt the weight she had been carrying from yesterday significantly lessen.

“Thanks for talking to me and cheering me up Chaeyeon-unnie. I didn’t even know you had watched Idol School.”

“Ah, actually,” Chaeyeon suddenly recalled. “I didn’t know until Yena told me last night. She must’ve been a big fan of yours to remember you.”

Yuri was stunned. “Yeah, I guess,” Yuri shyly replied.

As Chaeyeon walked ahead, Yuri thought about the unnie who had held her for an hour and then carried her to her dorm.

It hadn’t been much. But it was enough.

…

She ranked third.

Amongst the 48 incredibly talented Korean and Japanese trainees, Jo Yuri finished third. She had bounced from literally the bottom of the final 20 to top three. She had started with an original grade of A, plummeted down to a F, and clawed her way to the final roster. She was going to debut.

During her speech, she was at a loss for words. She had truly accepted that it was over once Eunbi was announced. But the national producers had been swayed. Her final week, where she had pushed herself to her limit and fought to show off her bright side and singing talents, had truly paid off. It was nothing short of a miracle.

Yuri managed to separate herself from the entanglement of congratulatory limbs, give a very unprepared and improvised speech, and approach the intimidating arrangement of chairs. She gratefully accepted the hugs and pats of her future group members, thankful that they were as excited to have her as she was to join them.

She finally reached the second to last layer, where she accepted a hug from Yujin before facing Yena. The girl who had been ranked fourth just moments earlier. Yuri could see the tear tracks on her cheeks from her earlier speech, but Yena’s eyes were glistening with tears again. However, Yuri could easily tell that these tears were a little different.

Yena pulled Yuri in for a hug, and Yuri felt her heartbeat pick up again. Yuri waited for Yena to tell her congrats or make some dumb joke to help cheer her up. After a long ten weeks together, Yuri had a good idea of how Yena liked to cheer up others.

Yena released Yuri, and held the younger girl at arm’s length. She was grinning and her eyes were sparkling. “Yuri-ah, daebak! Jumping 15 places? Is that even possible?”

Yuri rolled her eyes and moved to try and punch Yena’s shoulder, but the older caught her wrist and brought Yuri in for another hug.

“Doesn’t matter what place it was,” Yena continues. “Mnet is realizing what a mistake they made in Idol School. Thanks for not giving up Yuri-ah. I’m so happy we could debut together.”

Yuri ended up sitting on her chair, stifling her jubilant sobs in a valiant effort to not disrupt the announcement of the remaining members.

…

They debut with La Vie en Rose. And what an apt debut song. Her new life feels so incredibly blissful. Sometimes she feels like she’s watching someone else’s life through rosy glasses. All the other members are so incredibly warmhearted and beautiful and she feels so blessed to have debuted alongside them.

And most of all, Yena is right by her side through every step. Free from the worries of Produce 48, she lets herself go and unleashes her mischievous side. And the two become a force to be reckoned with inside IZ*ONE. The dance practices and recording sessions were rough as expected, but it hardly felt like work when she got to hang out with Yena afterwards. Whether it was playing jokes on the other members or just playfully wrestling at fansigns, Yuri and Yena were constantly having fun.

Still, the tribulations of idol life were still present, and Eunbi and Chaeyeon managed to wrangle the duo when they got too unproductive. In spite of Yena and Yuri’s best efforts to slack off, the whole group worked tirelessly to quickly prepare for their comeback. Given the hype around the Produce show, every member was extremely conscious of their success. There was a fair amount of controversy surrounding the final lineup, and everybody was motivated to prove their worth.

Their continued diligence was rewarded with the fastest girl group win on a music show. Yuri had expected to find herself in tears, but she was able to control herself. It was weird, but for Yuri, she had already achieved her dream of debuting. This win was just icing on the cake.

Yuri turned instinctively to look for Yena, and found the girl was already tearfully looking at her. Without thinking, Yuri, who had been standing on the opposite end of the group, ran forward and pulled Yena into a tight hug. The duo jumped in happiness. When Yena let go, Yuri burst into laughter at the sight before her. Yena’s tears were flowing freely and Yuri poked fun at the girl while trying to wipe away the tears. And Yena laughed too, pointing out how ridiculous she must’ve looked.

But before Yuri could respond, the members of Fromis 9 came forward to congratulate Yuri. Despite the fact that they had successfully graduated from Idol School whereas she failed, Yuri felt zero ill will towards the girls. In the end, she realized, things had worked out. Although she had somewhat resented Mnet and Idol School for how much the experience had hurt her emotionally, she thought that all of it was worth it to be able to share this precious moment with IZ*ONE. Fate seemed to work in strange ways.

She looked to Yena again, and Yena had managed to get back in control of her emotions. They made eye contact and Yena gave her a huge smile that almost stopped Yuri’s heart. The duo split off to hug and celebrate with the other members. But Yuri couldn’t help but notice that she didn’t have the same reaction while she interacted with the others and the audience.

Near the end of the encore, she watched as Yena threw rose petals all over the front row of the audience. It was silly and she looked like a kid playing with confetti for the first time. But the sight made Yuri’s heart do somersaults and all she could think about was being the one showered by Yena’s petals. And then the realization hit her harder and more unexpectedly than their first win had.

She was in love with her groupmate, Choi Yena.


	2. Chapter 2

There was an understanding amongst all the members of the maknae line. Though there were six members of the unnie line, they only considered three of them to be the parents of the group. There was Eunbi the mom, who always made sure everyone was healthy and getting their jobs done. There’s Chaeyeon the dad, who kept everyone’s’ spirits up and took care of everybody. And, surprisingly, there was Yena the uncle, who made sure everyone was having fun.

The trio split the responsibility of helping and confronting members whenever problems arose. The maknaes all knew that when you got Eunbi, you were getting a talk. If you got Chaeyeon, you were getting some hugs and food (everyone’s favorite was Chaeyeon). And if you got Yena, you were getting a distraction. The unnies covered all the situations this way.

So when Yuri was asked by Eunbi to talk in private, she knew she was in for a lecture.

“Eunbi-unnie, I swear, I wasn’t involved with the prank Yena pulled on Minju. I just filmed, I swear!”

Eunbi raises an eyebrow. “I wasn’t going to ask about that, but I will have some words for Yena later.”

Yuri sighed in relief. “Oh, good. What do you need from me then?”

“I wanted to ask if everything is going alright. You’ve been a bit distant this past month and I’ve been worried.”

Yuri unconsciously took in a sharp breath. Of course Eunbi would notice these things. They’ve been group mates for two years now, and even if they lived in separate dorms, Eunbi just had a knack for knowing when her fellow members were troubled.

“Ah,” Yuri started, scratching the back of her head. “Nothing ever escapes you unnie.”

Eunbi nodded but remained silent. Waiting for a continuation. _Ah_ , Yuri thought. _No getting out of this one._

“I’m just…a little sad,” Yuri summarized. “Since we’re getting closer to the end…I’m just a little sad about it.”

Eunbi’s expression immediately softened, and the older beckoned Yuri in for a hug. Yuri, the clingy hamster, was all too eager to accept.

“It’s been a good two years, hasn’t it?” Eunbi asked quietly. Yuri nodded into Eunbi’s shoulder. “It felt like just yesterday I was sitting in those oversized chairs after they called my name. And now look at us, one of the best girl groups in all of Asia. Maybe even the world.”

Yuri pulled away to nod aggressively in agreement. Eunbi chuckled and ruffled Yuri’s hair.

“We’re all a little sad about it. But it just means we have to make the moments we have now count more, right?”

Yuri thought about how true Eunbi’s words were. How much she was trying to avoid any solo gigs just to spend more time in the dorm. How she stayed with Chaeyeon in the dance studio to practice longer. How she watched all of the Korean dramas Nako and Hitomi watched in the living room, even if she had seen them before. How she always offered to help Wonyoung study even though the girl was basically a genius.

Most of all, Yuri thought about how many times she went out with Yena to go do something fun or simple. The lively trips to the arcade. The relaxing stays at a café. Soon, they would both be busy at their respective companies, and not be able to meet as often. Not be able to spend as many hours possible staying up and watching movies. Not able to banter at every music show they attend. It was cruel that Mnet had given her a soulmate in Yena but also gave them a deadline for their companionship. Yuri began imagining all of the fun things they could continue to do if they had just a few more years.

Yuri, in the midst of her inner machinations, saw a hand being waved in front of her eyes. She realized that she had been daydreaming about Yena and Eunbi was starting to look worried. “Yeah, you’re right unnie. I’m just being silly and too emotional. Thanks for entertaining my silly concerns.”

Eunbi smiled. “They’re not silly. They’re valid and important. Let’s make the most of these last months. IZ*ONE fighting!” Eunbi stuck her arm out, and Yuri reluctantly smiled and crossed her arm with Eunbi’s. The leader, satisfied, walked away, and Yuri sighed in relief at having successfully not revealed her crush.

An hour later, a loud Yena burst into Yuri’s room, asking the younger girl to tag along while Yena did some shopping. The older girl was quick to make excuses about needing new pajamas and that only Yuri had the appreciation and fashion sense to help her find the best possible sleepwear. It was honestly far too obvious what Yena’s intentions were and Yuri also happened to know that Yena had been wearing the exact same style of pajamas since debut and had enough to last her another IZ*ONE lifetime. But Yuri, never able to refuse Yena’s kindness, agreed.

She found a smirking Eunbi on her way out and realized that nothing truly got past mother.

…

Two years had flown by for the women of IZ*ONE. They were no longer the young, new faces on the block. Instead, they had grown tremendously over the two years and became a regular force amidst the competition between Kpop girl groups. Yuri couldn’t believe how much they had accomplished in their short tenure. To be in the conversation with greats like Twice and SNSD was a dream come true.

But like all dreams, they were coming to an end. IZ*ONE was only meant to last two and a half years, and after so many comebacks, the group was approaching disbandment.

And Yuri had made little progress in her relationship with Yena.

They were still best friends, but Yuri had a hard time trying to advance their relationship any further. It may have been the inevitable separation weighing in on her mind, or her lack of evidence that Yena felt the same way about her.

And trust her, Yuri had been looking. She had even started analyzing those YouTube compilations of her interactions with Yena. And while the fans thought they saw signs of Yena’s interest, Yuri knew the real story. Yena was just a naturally protective and playful unnie. For every clip of their ship, there was another video of Yena doing the same to literally anyone else in the group.

So she tries her best not to let herself get too distracted by Yena. Not to let this crush of hers grow into something dangerous. They only had two and half years to make their mark. There wasn’t time to be selfish. And given how busy the group was, it should’ve been easy. They were literally constantly flying between Korea and Japan. They were filming CFs, practicing special stages, and appearing on as many variety shows as possible. Off the Record Entertainment knew that they had a limited time product on their hands, and they were prepared to wring out as much value as possible.

Yet, Yena and Yuri were still an unbreakable pair. Throughout all of the trials and tribulations of idol life, the duo were as close as ever. At some point, Yuri gave up on trying the strategy of distancing herself. Yena always found a way back to Yuri. So her tactic nowadays was to roll with the punches and accept whatever happens.

It was blissful in some ways: her job including cuddling Yena, playing with Yena, and singing. Her favorite things in the world. But in some ways, it was depressing: that this was the limit of their relationship. That Yena would never see Yuri beyond a best friend or a groupmate. And the ending the group always hung over Yuri’s head, as if to dissuade her from trying to push for more.

In the end, Yuri was satisfied with where they were at. As close as best friends could be, without crossing over that boundary into girlfriends. And as much as Yuri was ready to leap across that line, she couldn’t. Because Yena didn’t make it clear if she was interested in the same thing. Because their time together had an expiration date.

It was more than Yuri needed, but less than what she wanted. At least they were at a point where Yuri could interact with Yena without needlessly embarrassing herself or giving away her crush.

But naturally, Yena always finds a way to upset whatever equilibrium Yuri is able to establish.

…

At the start of every week, everyone gathers together in one of the living rooms to discuss plans and the schedule for the week. It was a rare instance in the IZ*ONE dorms where people weren’t trying to throw everything into utter chaos.

Well, Yena finds a way to do that even during their serious meetings.

“Hey!” Yena raised her hand just as Eunbi had finished telling everyone about the schedule for the end of the week. “I have something I want to say.”

Everyone looked at the girl seriously, a little surprised that Yena had something to bring up.

Yena took a deep breath. “I want to switch to the other dorm. Will someone from Chaeyeon's dorm switch with me?”

The room went silent. Nobody was sure how exactly to respond to that. Yuri looked at the members of the Eunbi’s dorm to gauge their reactions. She was surprised to find that they were all surprised and caught off guard as much as she was.

“Is…is there a particular reason you want to switch?” Eunbi asks diplomatically. “Is there a problem?”

Yena tilted her head and rubbed the back of her neck. “Ah, I didn’t mean to create this awkward mood. I just wanted a change of pace! I promise, I’m not mad or upset about anyone in Camp Eunbi.”

Yuri looked around the faces of her roommates, but all of them had fairly neutral expressions. Sure, none of them had a problem with switching, but it seemed like a lot of hassle for no particular reason. The Japanese line obviously would prefer to stick together, and Chaeyeon was the best person to stay with them since she spoke the best Japanese out of all the Korean members. That just left her and Wonyoung.

In her head, Yuri felt her heart skip a beat at the thought of sharing a room with Yena again. She didn’t want to volunteer, but Wonyoung didn’t look like she was going to say anything. Yuri let out a quiet huff. She’d have to volunteer just to save Yena from this awkwardness. Not her first choice, but she was always willing to make the sacrifice play for her favorite unnie.

She looked up to see Eunbi giving her an inquisitive look. Before Yuri could raise her hand, Eunbi made eye contact with Wonyoung and gave her a pointed face and a nod. Yuri turned her head and saw their maknae nod in response.

Wonyoung quickly threw her arm in the air. “I’ll switch! I’m tired of Nako trying to climb on top of me when I’m not paying attention!”

“What?!” Nako suddenly shouted. “I just wanted to see what the weather was like up there! Once!”

“It’s actually a pretty good idea,” Eunbi butts in before an off topic argument happened. “I can make sure the two babies get ready for school on time.” Yujin laughed before realizing she was one of those babies, and then she pouted. Eunbi apologetically pats her head, and Yujin leans into it.

 _Yes!_ Yuri thought internally. She kept silent, but allowed herself a small grin.

“Ah, only if it’s okay Wonyoung-ah! I hate to mess anything up guys.” Yena tries to ensure that everything is fine, and Yuri couldn’t help but adore how Yena put the happiness of all their members above her own. But Yuri also wanted to slap the older girl for trying to stop the roommate exchange.

Thankfully, Wonyoung waves her hand. “It’s totally fine unnie. I’m gonna go terrify the other unnies now.” Chaewon already has her head in her hands, and Chaeyeon does a little fist bump in the background that only Sakura and Yuri notice.

“Well, if there are no more sudden requests, meeting adjourned!” Eunbi ends the meeting, and the members start to separate. Yena quickly goes back to her dorm to pack her belongings. Yuri is about to go offer to help, but she senses an arm wrap around her shoulders.

Wonyoung, who has bent down considerably, whispered in Yuri’s ear. “I’m giving up Chaeyeon’s cooking for you unnie. Don’t waste this chance.” Yuri immediately stiffens up, and she realizes that even the high schooler has figured out Yuri’s crush. Wonyoung casually gets up with a shit-eating grin on her face, and walks to her room, leaving Yuri to try and control her blush before anybody else notices.

That night, Yena takes the bunk above her and Yuri can barely sleep. Whether it’s because of happiness or embarrassment, she’s not sure. The two girls were already inseparable during their concerts, fansigns, and variety appearances. And now she got to spend all of her time home with her as well? It was a dream come true. She vowed to treat Wonyoung and Eunbi one day.

Eventually, Yuri’s consciousness faded away to the sound of Yena’s soft snore. She dreamed of crossing lines and ice cream dates with a duck-faced roommate.

…

With only two months left before their final concert. The members began spending more time away than ever. Many members of the K-line were pulled away in order to prepare back at their original companies. And the J-line began preparing to return to their idol lives in Japan. Even outside of their prep for the final concert, there was always someone busy or away.

Which made the members only fight harder to spend as much time together as possible. There wasn’t a single night where there wasn’t some group bonding activity initiated by the maknaes or Eunbi. Even when people were tired, they found ways to spend time together: Yuri was pretty sure Chaeyeon and Sakura just decided that they would sleep in the same bed for the remainder of IZ*ONE’s lifetime.

It was cute but also incredibly tragic. Some of her best friends were going to a different country. Most of them will be almost unreachable given their rough schedules. Yuri couldn’t help but find it hard to look forward to a future where they couldn’t talk regularly and hang out.

But thankfully, the group had a happy virus. Yena was working overtime to keep everyone in good spirits. She was the life of every hangout. She checked on as many people as she could. And she was always game to go out to do something spontaneous.

Today, all of the girls had taken a collective trip to the PC bang. The gamer line was running about, showing everyone how to play and trying to get everyone to play a single party game together. In her periphery vision, Yuri could see Sakura screeching in the distance, Eunbi struggling to turn on the computer, and Minju looking particularly smug for some reason.

Suddenly, Yena jumped into the seat beside Yuri, startling the younger girl.

“Yah unnie, don’t scare me like that!” Yuri whined, making Yena laugh.

“C’mon slowpoke, get setup! At least two thirds of us are in the lobby. You haven’t even selected your character yet.” Sure enough, Yuri had been too busy looking at her members that she hadn’t moved past the menu screen. “Let me help!”

Yuri confusedly tried scooting her seat, but Yena instead grabbed the armrest and pulled Yuri in closer. She chose to wrap her arm around Yuri’s shoulder and grabbed Yuri’s hand, which was on the computer mouse. Yuri was acutely aware of how close Yena’s face was and how, even with minimal makeup and large glasses, Yena was naturally beautiful. Yuri held her breath, from both the nervousness she was experiencing and the fear that her breath smelled from the ramen she had ordered. 

“There! All set!” Yena patted Yuri on the back and started going off to help a confused Hitomi when she noticed that Yuri hadn’t said anything. “Hey, everything good?”

Yuri collected herself. “Yeah, just a little confused by the game. Yup, never played this game before. I’m sure it’ll be hard.”

Yena gave a smirk. “You play Smash on Sakura’s Switch all the time. This’ll be easy enough for you.”

“Yeah but that’s usually by myself and against computers.”

“Mm but this game is easy enough. We’re just trying to get this payload from one side of the map to the other. Press every button until we win. Let your unnie show you how cool she is.”

“But Hyewon is on the other team.”

“Okay listen she usually wins but there’s like eight more variables so let me have this.”

Yuri laughs and Yena nods in satisfaction.

“Thanks for organizing this outing unnie,” Yuri says. “You’re always working so hard on our behalf.” Yuri was always watching Yena’s efforts, and wanted to make sure the woman knew that her efforts were not going unnoticed. At the very least, Yuri thought, she wanted to make sure that Yena would never go unappreciated. Which was true because Yuri was always appreciating something about Yena. Her smile. Her pout. Her figure.

 _Ew, Yuri stop lusting over her like a teenage boy_ , Yuri scolded herself.

Yena gave a bright smile and rubbed her cheek against Yuri’s playfully. Yuri usually loved bantering with Yena and exchanging jabs, but Yena has been getting physically affectionate lately, and its been difficult to talk when her heart was threatening to pop out of her mouth from how hard its beating.

“Of course Yuri-ah! I gotta make sure all my dongsaengs aren’t too down in the dumps. Maybe crushing all your butts in videogames isn’t the best way to do it, but the choice is forgivable if the intention is good, right?”

“I take it back. We’re just here to stroke your own ego,” Yuri teased. Yena pouted briefly before breaking into another grin.

“That’s the spirit. Save that for the game. Give me another minute to get Hitomi and Wonyoung on, and then we can start. Pick red, that’ll be my team!” She gave a silly salute and wandered away. Yuri somberly wondered how many days were left that they could play on the same team.

…

Yena moving was only the start of big changes for IZ*ONE.

IZ*ONE was coming back from one of their concerts in Japan. It was quite an arduous week, and every single person wanted to just pass out on whatever soft surface they can find. Hitomi had literally fallen asleep on the padded elevator wall.

But Eunbi insisted on a meeting.

As everyone sleepily gathered around the living room, Yuri felt Yena fall unceremoniously next to her in exhaustion. Yuri laughed and pulled Yena up into a sitting position. Yena leaned her head on Yuri’s shoulder, and Yuri had a brief panic attack before her heart settled down.

“Alright everyone, eyes on me!” Eunbi calls from her position at the front of the room. “Yujin, wake up!” The puppy-like girl shook her head in surprise, and the group giggled. Eunbi smiled, but then dropped it quickly. Yuri felt Yena shift and she turned to see a more inquisitive expression on the duck-like girl’s face. And Yuri instinctively felt that something was wrong.

“Now, I know we’re all tired, and five of us have early morning schedules tomorrow. But I have something really important to say.” Yuri was starting to notice that Eunbi was looking stressed. Her hair, which was normally straight and well kept, was a bit all over the place. She was paler than usual, and she wasn’t smiling.

Yena at this point had sat up straight, and Yuri also sat up, paying rapt attention.

“As you know, we’re almost at the end of our contracts. And we’ve all been preparing for the next step in our careers. And this might be a bit vain of me, but I wanted to share my next step with everybody.”

It’s certainly true that Eunbi had been rather quiet about her plans after IZ*ONE. Even Chaewon, who went with Eunbi to Woollim every once in a while, was in the dark. _Ah, maybe a solo_ , Yuri thought _Chaewon might be sad about that. But then why does she look as surprised as everyone else?_

Eunbi took a deep breath. “After IZ*ONE, I’m retiring.”

Silence. You could hear a pin drop. Even the always-loud beagles of the group were stunned.

Eunbi, sensing that nobody was going to say anything, decided to continue. “I love performing. I’ve loved being with you guys and being your leader for two and a half years. But I don’t think I can go through the stress of debuting again. I’m getting pretty old for a rookie, so I won’t exactly be doing my group any favors.”

“That’s not true!”

We all turned to the source of the outburst. It was the tearful second member of Woollim Entertainment, Chaewon, glaring daggers at Eunbi.

The leader smiled back tiredly. “It’s okay Chaewon. I’m honestly really satisfied with everything I’ve done with IZ*ONE. I’ve accomplished my dream, and it’s time I look for new ones. It sounds like goodbye, even though we’re still together for a bit longer. But I wanted everyone to know.”

Nobody in the room knew how to respond. Yuri felt this odd combination of devastation and confusion. Eunbi had always been this stubborn and strong figure in the group. For her to throw in the towel all of the sudden left her with a feeling of emptiness. And she realized this was just a small taste of what she would feel once IZ*ONE finally disbanded. Yuri bit her lip in her anxiousness, and felt Yena lay a hand over her own and give a firm squeeze.

Chaewon, holding back tears, stormed out of the living room into her own room. The room remained motionless. Everyone was unsure of what to do. Do you comfort Eunbi? Do you congratulate her? Yuri felt uncomfortable with how she simply didn’t know how to deal with this, and by the panicked eye movements of Hitomi, Yuri was sure everyone felt the same.

Yuri suddenly heard a deep breath beside her, and she turned to see Yena with a face that could only be described as firm acceptance.

Yena suddenly stood and clapped her hands once together, gathering everyone’s attention.

“Ah unnie, I’m sure everyone is just a little shocked at the news. But I want to be the first to thank you. For guiding us and putting us first for this entire time. Even though I’m sad about this, I want you to know that I’ll support you in whatever you do. Unnie, fighting!”

Eunbi’s expression brightened, and she crossed the room to envelop Yena in a tight hug. Yena’s speech seemed to have roused the rest of the group, and soon everyone was up and engaging in a group hug. As Yuri wrapped her arms around her members, her attention stayed on Yena, who always seemed to know what to say. Even if she insisted that she wasn’t great at cheering people up, Yena was good at doing what was needed.

And amongst the various members crying and cheering for Eunbi, Yuri realized that all of them needed this kind of talk. They each, in the coming months, needed a chance to talk about their fears and expectations for the future. Followed by a good cry and some positive encouragement from one another. Yuri pondered that maybe it was time she unloaded some of her own stress upon some of the other groupmates. If Eunbi could trust the others with her plans to leave behind idol life, then Yuri should feel comfortable admitting to her own demons. Her fears for her future career. Her sadness at leaving behind an amazing group of friends.

Her desire to be more than just best friends with Yena.

Later that night, Yuri stepped out to use the bathroom and could hear two people whispering in the living room. She could make out Chaewon’s voice, desperate and pleading, mixed with Eunbi’s, firm and apologetic.

“Unnie, if the company told you that you were too old, we can leave! Forget them! I’ll follow you to another company and we can debut there and…”

“No, Chaewon, they didn’t say that. It’s not about the company.”

“Then what? What can I do to get you to stay unnie?! I don’t want to debut without you!”

Yuri, from her position in the corner of the hallway, found herself unconsciously nodding along to Chaewon’s questions.

“You know, I spent so many years chasing this dream. To be an idol, and sing and dance to a crowd of thousands screaming my name. To be surrounded by people I love as much as my own family. To touch the hearts of people all across the globe. When my first group failed, I was so mad. I refused to go down as a failure, and I worked my ass off to get to this point. And I did it. I did everything I dreamed of and more.

“But nobody told me what they did after they accomplished their dreams. And I realized during our last few months that the stage didn’t have what I was looking for. I looked at all our fans, but I couldn’t see what I wanted anymore. I really don’t know what I’ll do after IZ*ONE. But I need to look for it. And I can’t find it at Woollim. I can’t find it in another girl group. At least, I don’t think I can.”

There were no sounds afterwards except Chaewon’s sniffles and soft sobs, and Yuri decided she had eavesdropped enough.

Lying back on her bed, she reflected on Eunbi’s words while listening to Yena’s soft snores above her. Was a similar conversation in their future as well? Would Yuri be begging Yena to stay, knowing fully well the girl had obligations back at Yuehua? Would she be powerless to stop Yena from leaving her in the same way Chaewon was unable to change Eunbi’s mind? Yuri began thinking about all the possible ways this could end, and she wondered if she could face those conclusions with the same bravery and grace that Eunbi had in that argument. In the end, Yuri could only foresee one ending.

She was in love with her groupmate, Choi Yena. And their time together was running out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

Eunbi’s announcement seemed to have inspired the entirety of the group to talk freely and openly with one another. Almost every night, the members of IZ*ONE were letting their hearts out and talking about everything on their minds. It was both cathartic and terrifying to hear her sisters show their vulnerabilities.

Last night, Sakura confessed her fear that she was out of touch with her old group in Japan after being away for so long. She had literally grown up in HKT48, and this was the longest she had been away from the group. There were so many things that her old group had done since Sakura’s departure, and she worried if she could continue carrying out her role as a leader.

It was a rare admission from the eldest Japanese member. It’s true that Sakura hadn’t really played an unnie role in the group: her lack of proficiency in Korean at the beginning of IZ*ONE naturally meant she was more laid back during promotions and that the others would lead and watch over her. She questioned if she could return to that leader role. She wondered if HKT48 had a spot for her remaining.

Sakura was unexpectedly emotional, and all of the members were insistent that she was going to jump back in and that her Japanese group would be happy to have her back. Hitomi and Nako expressed similar concerns, but knowing Sakura was such a central figure, they promised to support Sakura back in Japan. The rest of the members were also caring, coddling Sakura and expressing their love in various ways.

That night was about Sakura. They ended it with a group hug, and promises to stay strong and love one another. The same way every night in the past week had ended.

Amidst all these confessions and serious talks, Yuri found herself staring aimlessly at the off TV. She couldn’t stop thinking about how depressing all this talk could be. How sad she would inevitably become at the end of all this. How she was afraid of working to debut again. IZ*ONE was backed extensively by Mnet: what were the chances that she would ever get to taste this level of success again, with people she got along with so well? And would she ever get to see Yena again once they were both busy working hard with their new groups?

Yuri was so absorbed in her own thoughts that she failed to notice Chaeyeon walk in front of her with a bowl of strawberries.

“Hey, I brought you some snacks. Manager-unnie says she’ll drive you to Stone in 15 minutes,” Chaeyeon explains. “Better eat quickly.”

“Ah, thanks unnie,” Yuri replied distractedly.

“Something on your mind? That TV has been off all day but you’ve been looking at it like the most interesting show was on.”

“I’m just…” Yuri paused. She thought about brushing it off as she had been doing for the past few months. But then she thought about how little time she actually had to talk to Chaeyeon. Keeping her fears inside? _To hell with that!_

“I’m scared,” Yuri whispers, and Chaeyeon wouldn’t have heard it if she wasn’t already making her way to the couch beside the younger girl. Chaeyeon wrapped one arm around Yuri’s shoulder and Yuri rested her head on Chaeyeon’s shoulder. The feather-like girl fed Yuri a strawberry but kept silent, waiting for Yuri to continue.

“I don’t know if I can do this again. I don’t want to start over after doing so well as a group. I don’t want to be in another group if it doesn’t have you guys in it. There’s nobody like IZ*ONE at Stone. There’s no one who dances as well as you do. No one who eats as much as Hyewon. No one who can speak as many fluent languages and look adorable while doing it like Wonyoung can. No one who can bring the energy like Yujin or threaten me with cuteness like Chaewon.

“And I don’t want to spend any time apart from everyone. But barring a miracle, Stone isn’t gonna put out a group with enough success to promote in Japan. I’m never going to see Sakura, Nako, or Hitomi ever again. What if I’m just stuck being miserable and longing for the glory days once I debut again? And I know I sound like such a piece of _shit_ , but I don’t know if I can handle going back to being nugu. How does anyone walk away from something so perfect without scarring the rest of their lives?

“I just can’t imagine starting over, and having to leave everything I’ve come to love behind. WIZ*ONE, you guys,…” _Yena._

Chaeyeon remained silent for a moment, satisfied with holding Yuri as the younger girl took a moment to collect herself. Her lack of response was telling to Yuri though: Chaeyeon’s probably had everyone in their dorm tell her about their own concerns. Yuri, in between breaths, started feeling bad for adding to her burden.

“Do you remember, when we talked after the reevaluation during Produce 48?” Chaeyeon suddenly asked.

_Produce?_ Yuri thought. That was literally years ago. It almost felt like she hadn’t experienced it given the flood of new experiences she had participated in as a member of IZ*ONE. But Yuri remembered opening up to Chaeyeon then, and the two of them bearing their hearts and commiserating on their survival show trials.

“Yeah. It felt like years ago. Oh God, Yena found me in the bathroom, crying like a baby. I’m cringing.” Yuri made a face like she had eaten a lemon, and Chaeyeon laughed softly.

“It definitely wasn’t the highest points in our careers,” Chaeyeon admitted, and Yuri smiled. “But remember how scared we were? How we didn’t think we had the strength to pull it through Produce?”

“Mm,” Yuri hummed in agreement. “But we did it.”

“We did. And sometimes I look back and wonder could’ve happened if I wasn’t strong enough. But our talk really helped me. It really helped me look forward instead of thinking about my past. Part of the reason I’m here is thanks to you, Yuri-ah.”

Yuri blushed, not expecting Chaeyeon to be so grateful. “I-it was nothing unnie. You were the one who worked hard to get in.”

“But I couldn’t do it without the support of you, Sakura, Eunbi, Yena, and everyone else there. I was 12th place. It could’ve easily not been me you know.”

Yuri tried to think of an IZ*ONE without Chaeyeon. “Impossible. There’s no one who could replace you. Or any of us.”

Chaeyeon gave a big grin and affectionately nuzzled Yuri’s face. “You sweet talker. Any girl would be lucky to have you.” Yuri froze at the implication, but Chaeyeon merely held her tighter and Yuri immediately knew that there was nothing to worry about.

“But like I was saying, it could’ve easily been someone else,” Chaeyeon continued. “But even if it wasn’t, I would’ve kept going. Because we don’t know how things are ever going to turn out. I mean, Produce was all about putting our futures in the hands of the nation. It doesn’t matter how good you were if the viewers didn’t want you, right?

“So let’s not worry about what will or won’t happen. Given your experience and talents, Stone Music will debut you ASAP. And your new members will be lovely, just like we were. It won’t be the same, and maybe your new group won’t do as well. But maybe they’ll do even better. And that’s something that you and I have always aimed for. That’s why we keep putting ourselves through hell, even if there’s no promise of heaven at the end of it.

“Idol life is too short to have worries and regrets.”

 Yuri felt herself tearing up, and buried her face in Chaeyeon’s shoulder. It was so cliché. It was nothing Yuri didn’t already know. But having that shared desire verbalized by Chaeyeon, who had been through the same struggles as her, just seemed to get through to her. Chaeyeon patted Yuri’s back soothingly, and Yuri thought that there was no way she would find anyone like Chaeyeon in another group. Someone who was close like a best friend and caring like a family member. Someone who could understand her and assuage any of her fears.

“Unnie,” Yuri quietly says, choking up. “I’m in love with Yena. And I don’t know what to do about it.”

Yuri feels Chaeyeon tense for a moment before relaxing and returning to her soothing back rub. “Are you gonna tell her?” Chaeyeon asks.

“…should I?”

Chaeyeon shakes her head. “That’s not my call. But no regrets, right?”

Yuri only sniffled, and Chaeyeon laughed warmly, rubbing the younger’s head.

“Let’s get you cleaned up before you go.”

…

Their final concert was wet.

Not the weather. Their eyes. There wasn’t a dry eye in the stadium as IZ*ONE performed for the final time before officially ending their contracts. They played every title track and as many B-sides as they could. Tried to cram every song into this final concert because they knew that there may not be another day where they could perform the side tracks that they had dutifully practiced.

Yuri was sweating profusely and she had to keep rubbing her eyes every few minutes. Whether it was from sweat or tears, Yuri had no way of knowing. All she knew was that she didn’t want to miss a second of this moment. These last few hours performing as a member of IZ*ONE. Her voice was certainly going to be gone after this, given how she had given these last songs her all.

She looked across the stage at her members, who were running around and interacting with the fans. Wonyoung and Nako were playing tag near the front, and Eunbi was trying to run after them and get them to slow down before they fell. Minju was in the back crying while Yujin was trying to make her smile. Hitomi, Chaewon, and Hyewon were the only ones dutifully singing and keeping up the appearance of trying to perform. Sakura was taking pictures with the fans in the front row while Chaeyeon had just sat down and started talking to a few lucky audience members on the right side of the stage.

Inside her head, Yuri was trying to make a permanent imprint of all these little actions in her head.

Yuri was pulled out of her stupor by an energetic Yena. Yuri was distracted by the glitter on Yena’s cheeks, which only served to make her sparkle under the spotlight like a literal Tinkerbell, sprinkling fairy dust wherever she goes. Combined with her dazzling smile and the slightly teary eyes, Yena was radiating light on anyone who looked at her.

Yena pointed at her head and smiled. Yuri instinctively understood the former’s message.

_Don’t think too much. Get out of your head and come sing._

It was amazing how easily Yena read her. And was cognizant enough to avoid talking while she was miked up. Yena followed that up by wrapping Yuri into a hug and posing for the audience. Yuri automatically smiled and made a peace sign while trying to make eye contact with as many cameras as possible. Yena even made sure to include a kiss on the cheek, which both Yuri and the crowd went wild for.

She gives one more wink to Yuri before bouncing off to keep Chaeyeon and Sakura from staying in one area of the stage.

Once Yuri quickly recovers from the kiss (she’s on stage, can’t have the fans know how affected she actually is!), she clicks her tongue. _Damn that Yena,_ she thought. _She’s just too smooth on stage._

She walked forwards towards the center of the stage to perform her part of the song. Given the dance-less performance, Yuri could conserve all her breath towards blowing away the fans. Yuri proceeded to nail her run, going even higher on one of her high notes, just to show off for the audience. The crowd erupted and Yuri allowed herself to refuel her energy off of their hype.

Yuri turned around and made eye contact with an awed Yena. She was beaming at Yuri while holding a fist against her chest. It was the usual pride and joy that Yena always wore when she was allowed to admire Yuri’s singing. But Yuri couldn’t help but notice a little something apprehensive in her unnie’s pose. But before she could think more about it, Yena turned away to wrap an arm around Chaewon.

Yuri stopped herself from staring any longer, and moved towards Wonyoung to have some fun. She was curious what exactly had looked off, but she didn’t have time to dwell on it. Not with thousands of fans looking at her every move.

_Not now Yuri_ , she reprimanded herself. _Fun, energy, and fan service for WIZ*ONE. Pining for Yena after the concert._

…

The members returned to their dorm, tired but elated. As the hype of the last concert wore off, the members just seemed to be happy to sit beside one another. They sat in the living room, unsure how to proceed from here. Starting tomorrow, they would begin the process of disbanding. Packing up their belongings, doing some final interviews, and saying goodbye to the Japanese members for who knows how long.

IZ*ONE was eager to savor this moment where nothing was moving or happening. To stay in this time for as long as possible.

But then Minju’s stomach growled.

Everyone burst into laughter and shouted “Minju again?!” Eunbi and Chaeyeon got up to start cooking some food for the other members. The maknae line quickly pounced on Minju, teasing her.

Yuri was laughing alongside Yujin, when she felt a hand pulling on her wrist. She turned to find a glasses-wearing Yena, looking at her seriously.

“Could you come with me for a moment? I have something I want to talk about.”

…

Yena pulled Yuri to the rooftop of their dorm. Although there were many residents of the building, the rooftop tended to be secluded. Many of the members felt safe coming up there to relax and be away from the other members without being in public.

But right now, Yuri could only feel danger in this supposed safe place.

The Yena standing across from her was not the happy virus that had captivated the nation. Instead, there was a fidgeting woman who looked more serious than Hyewon at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Yuri shuddered. That was a hell of a meal and IZ*ONE never returned to that restaurant.

Yena gave Yuri an awkward smile and a chuckle, and Yuri couldn’t resist smiling back. Even when she was serious, Yena was trying to keep the mood light.

“I uh bet you’re wondering why I brought you here,” Yena began.

“Mm, that is something I was wondering,” Yuri playfully replied. “I was just thinking this would be a good spot get rid of me. Now that we finished our contract, you’re gonna get rid of me, aren’t you?”

Yena was surprised, but then laughed softly. “You’ve got me. I’ve been manipulating all of the members, waiting until now to get rid of all you before you become my competition!”

They laughed at Yena’s corniness and dramatic attitude. Something the duo had become adept at is calming each other in moments of nervousness. Whether it was a solo vlive or a big awards performance, Yuri and Yena could always sooth each other’s worries.

“Oh, how tragic! My career being cut short so early!”

“I just had a feeling,” Yena says, “that you’re gonna be a huge star one day. And I can’t have someone outshine me like that.”

Even if it was just banter, Yuri couldn’t help but blush from the praise. It was just the effect Yena had on her.

“Aigoo, is our Yuri embarrassed? Maybe a little too happy?” Yena teased.

“You’re such a flirt,” Yuri whined. “Besides, we’re all gonna be stars. I can’t wait to see you become the ace of Yuehua.” Suddenly, Yena froze, and the awkward ambience returned. She seemed to be trying to collect herself for something, and Yuri felt an ominous foreboding.

“Yeah…about that. As you’ve maybe noticed, I’ve been away a lot recently.” Yuri tilted her head to the side in confusion.

It was true: Yena had recently been going back to Yuehua more frequently than the other members had been away. At first, Yuri and the others suspected that Yena was trying to play catch up to join EVERGLOW, Yuehua’s relatively experienced girl group, but Yena had been quick to deny this. But she didn’t elaborate on why she was away so often, and they had brushed it off as getting acquainted with her new members. _My replacements_ , Yuri thought bitterly.

“Was it not…in preparation of a quick debut?” Yuri asked, voice shaking a little from Yena’s reluctance to spit it out.

“Well, no. It’s because I’ve been negotiating with my company. With EVERGLOW doing well and the next rotation of female trainees not ready to debut, I was in an awkward spot.” A pregnant pause. Yuri swallowed nervously.

“So I’m leaving Yuehua.”

Yuri’s jaw dropped.

“Y-you’re quitting?”

“Yeah. I’m out.”

Yuri’s eyes were as wide as saucers. Yena. Quitting? _No,_ Yuri thought. _I can’t let her._

“Y-you can’t quit! Yena, you’re such an incredible idol! The world needs you to be on stage and to sing and dance. Please, don’t stop being an idol!”

“W-what?! No! No! I’m transferring out of Yuehua, not quitting idol life!” Yuri breathed audibly in relief. “I’m transferring to…” Yena paused to grab Yuri’s hand and stare directly into her eyes. They say that the eyes were the window to the soul, and if it’s true, Yuri could confidently say that Yena’s soul was glimmering. It was like a switch that cause Yuri’s emotions to do a quick 180. There was so much excitement and joy in those eyes that Yuri couldn’t resist getting excited as well.

“To Stone Music. Yuri, we’re going to be labelmates!”

And suddenly everything she had been worried about for the past few years felt so incredibly stupid. All this stress. All this worry. Yena was going to _her_ company?

“B-but why? I know EVERGLOW debuted, but you could’ve gone solo or do something else.” Yuri knew that she was pressing the issue. That she was holding out for the hopes that Yena would say that she was going to Stone Music to debut with Yuri again. But all of her worries felt silly at the moment and her desire to get to the bottom of this issue overpowered her anxiety.

_No more regrets_.

“…” Yena kept silent as she took on a contemplative expression. She was thinking. It was only for a few seconds, but Yuri held her breath for what felt like an hour. Yuri felt her hope fading away and she couldn’t stop a few tears from slipping out. Yena noticed immediately, and there was a sudden change in her expression. There was a new resolve in there. One Yuri hadn’t seen since their Produce days.

“I transferred for you.” Yena declared. Yena’s hands were clasped in front of her, and her shoulders were hunched forward. Her glasses were slipping down the bridge of her nose. But her face screamed seriousness. And Yuri thought the sight would be hilarious if it wasn’t for the fact that Yena had told her that she had gone through this for her.

“For me?”

“For you.” Yena was waiting for Yuri to respond accordingly, but the younger girl could only stare in shock. Seeing that Yuri was going to remain silent, Yena elaborated. “Because everyday that we came closer to the end of IZ*ONE, I felt the stress and worry of being separated from you. In a short three years, I realized that I didn’t want to be in a group that didn’t have you in it. That all of this fame, success, and opportunity meant nothing to me if you weren’t by my side.”

Yuri was dumbfounded. It wasn’t just her who anxious? Who feared being separated? Yena was this serious about continuing to be her groupmate? It only made her tear up more. Yena smiled at Yuri’s sniffling, and pulled out a handkerchief from her pocket.

“You cry too easily Yuri-ah,” Yena gently consoled Yuri, wiping away her tears.

“I’m just so happy,” Yuri finally spoke. “I’m so happy that you treasure me as a friend as much as I treasure you.”

Yena stopped wiping and looked up in confusion. Then she pouted. And Yuri resisted the urge to kiss that face away.

“Yah, did you listen to me at all?” Yena glared halfheartedly. “Don’t you dare try to friendzone me right now.”

Yuri’s entire world froze. _What?!_

Yena pulled away, hands on her hips, and stared defiantly at Yuri. “I’m confessing Jo Yuri. I love you. Go out with me. Debut with me again. Perform on stage with me again. Let’s take on Korea as rookies one last time. Together.”

This was nothing that Yuri ever imagined. She never thought for a second Yena felt the same way. In her dreams, it was Yuri who was mustering up the courage to confess in a grand manner, with doves soaring above them in an open field of flowers. But instead, she got a pouting, spectacled Yena, looking more annoyed than suave, on a rooftop in noisy Seoul.

It’s nothing like she had hoped for.

It’s even better.

It’s perfect.

So Jo Yuri gathers the courage she had only ever dreamed of collecting, and embraced Yena. The older woman reciprocated and gave a hum that indicating that she was waiting for an answer.

The answer was pretty obvious.

“Yes,” Yuri finally says. “Let’s do it all. I love you too, Yena.”

…

They come back from the rooftop to their shared dorm holding hands. Everybody is sitting in the living room watching a movie, but when Yena and Yuri enter, the room explodes. The other ten women are on top of them in an instant.

In between hugs and congratulations, she can see Eunbi and Chaeyeon already warning Yena not to break Yuri’s heart. Nako and Wonyoung singing some silly love song. Sakura in the background shrieking about how insane this all is while Hitomi desperately tries to get her to quiet down. Hyewon eating.

There is a moment of somberness in Yuri’s mind, reminding her of what she’s about to lose. But she makes eye contact with Yena, who’s expression is firm and understanding. And Yuri smiles again, knowing that even if she loses their companionship, she will have Yena’s for the foreseeable future. Maybe even forever if they’re lucky.

Tonight was the end of IZ*ONE. But it was the start of something just as beautiful.

…

About a year later, Yuri debuted for the second time in her career. When she was first training, she imagined having a large group surrounding her and having to balance her singing with her dancing. That ended up being true in IZ*ONE, and Yuri often wished that she could’ve continued performing with her 11 best friends for the entirety of their careers.

But debuting in a duo with Yena was a close second.

Stone Music Entertainment was fearful of putting Yena and Yuri in a group where they would overshadow the other members or be held back. Instead, the company had gone for making a BOL4-esque group that would allow the two to hog as much spotlight as they desired without being encumbered by “restarting” their debut.

It wasn’t what she had expected at the end of this journey. But now that she was here, making music with the woman of her dreams, Yuri thought that there was nothing more she could ask for.

“Hey, you alright there?” Yena poked Yuri’s cheek, and the latter snapped out of her reverie. The older girl was equipped with her guitar and had already finished setting up her mic. “You need to get ready! You need to be on your A-game if we’re gonna win!” The duo were participating on a variety singing program that pit music groups against one another.

Yuri smiled at Yena’s competitiveness. “Yeah, just gimme one more sec to tape my mic to my cheek.” Yena nodded in approval, patted Yuri softly on the head, and moved away to practice their introduction. There wasn’t really a leader when it came to the two of them, but Yena took it upon herself to handle most of the formalities and business. She naturally checked if this was okay with Yuri, but Yuri had zero complaints.

The one time Yena asked, Yuri simply responded that she found it hot when Yena took charge. The latter blushed furiously and never asked again.

The duo make their way on stage once it becomes their turn. Yuri was blown away by the cover before them, but Yena simply grabbed Yuri’s hand and squeezed firmly. It was all Yena allowed herself, knowing that even if they had a head start on their careers, they were still in the process of cementing themselves as successful artists. They were in public: the world wasn’t quite ready for them to be out for everyone to know about. So small reassurances would have to do.

It wasn’t much, but it was more than enough for Yuri.

They walk on stage, confident and beaming at the crowd. They weren’t filling up stadiums like they were in the heyday of IZ*ONE. But Yuri learned to appreciate the smaller venues and more mature fans. Yena and Yuri were dedicated to music and performing. And as long as they were doing it together, it didn’t matter who was listening.

“Hello! We’re Yulyen!” As Yena continued introducing the duo, Yuri looked at her lover happily. This was so far away from what Yuri believed the her idol life would become. But she wouldn’t trade any of it away. As Yena started strumming the guitar, she looked in Yuri’s eyes. Yuri could easily see the uncontrolled affection that was being transmitted in her gaze, and she lightly slapped Yena’s shoulder to get her to focus.

Yena laughed lightly and began singing the first verse of the song. It was about always being there for the one you love, even if she didn’t requite the singer’s feelings. Yuri thought it was appropriate and she did her best to channel everything she felt about Yena over her career. The longing. The fear. And the elation.

After all these years, Jo Yuri was still in love with her groupmate, Choi Yena. And Yena loved her back.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.


	4. Sequel Announcement

Hello!

If you enjoyed this story, then I encourage you to check out my sequel, What comes after dreams. It follows Eunbi's journey after the events of Make it Red. Check it out, and thank you for subscribing!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


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